素直 Sunao – In everyday usage (especially when used to describe children), 素直 can connote “obedience,” but it can also connote the quality of “being true to yourself.”
When used in this way, being 素直 isn’t inconsistent with having a clear set of values or priorities that you are willing to stand up for, but it does mean that you have become wise enough to NOT go out of your way to create conflict when conflict is not necessary or useful.
Being obedient to yourself sometimes requires you to not be obedient to others, but it doesn’t require you to be obstinate or aggressive toward them either. Being in touch with that which makes you 素直 can help you stay calm and resolute enough to remember to choose your own way in the midst of life’s various pressures pushing you down paths that don’t feel authentic or meaningful.
Of course, sometimes your search for that which makes you feel 素直 actually just makes you painfully aware that what you really feel inside is 葛藤 (kattou / conflict or conflicted) and that the most 素直 thing you can do is accept, experience and explore that sense of 葛藤, rather than obeying the natural urge to escape from it by trying to deny, dismiss or pretend it out of existence…
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Here is what came up when I did an AI-supported search for the deeper nuances of 素直:
The Japanese term sunao (素直), often translated simply as “obedient” or “docile,” carries a deeper, more nuanced meaning when interpreted as being “obedient to self” or, more accurately, “true to one’s own nature”. It signifies a state of being straightforward, honest, and free from hypocrisy or pretense.
Here is a breakdown of sunao in this context:
Key Aspects of Being “Sunao” (True to Self)
Authenticity and Transparency: Sunao describes a mind that is open, honest, and frank. It is about having a “straight” mind that does not hide behind pretenses.
Cooperative Self-Control: Rather than mere submissiveness to authority, sunao can be interpreted as a voluntary, cooperative behavior that enhances an individual’s sense of self. A sunao person acts in harmony with their environment because it aligns with their true, non-defensive nature.
Honesty with Feelings: It means being honest with oneself—accepting one’s true feelings and acting upon them without distortion.
Steadfastness: It is a “straight mind” that possesses the strength to remain true to one’s own principles, even in the face of struggle or temptation.
Contextual Usage
Personal Growth: Sunao ni naru (“becoming sunao”) implies calming down and being honest with oneself, or letting go of unnecessary ego and resistance.
Interpersonal Relations: In the context of relationships, a sunao person is open-minded and frank, rather than submissive.
Contrast with Western Notions of Obedience:
While the English word “obedient” often implies submissiveness, a loss of autonomy, or compliance against one’s will, the Japanese concept of sunao suggests that being cooperative is a choice that makes a person feel more authentic and connected. It is about aligning oneself with a situation in a way that feels natural and honest, not forced.
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Agency (主体性) + Purpose (志) + Growth (成長) + Connection (繋がり) + Contribution (貢献) = Meaning (意義)
In the space between you and me awaits all that will ever be.
人と人の間に全てのもと
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