“Each time I reach out to a friend or family member or each time I respond when someone reaches out to me, I feel more ease and less stress. The experience has taught me that parenting at its best is a team sport.” – Vivek H. Murthy, Surgeon General of the United States of America
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I would broaden the scope of Murthy’s statement to “life at its best is a team sport” played by individuals who choose of their own accord to be a team.
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Precisely because many working parents feel overwhelmed, when they connect in inter-dependable communities they are a powerful force for sustainable organizational change.
I recently heard that the “working parents” community my colleagues and I helped to create at a major IT firm in Tokyo about two decades ago has stayed together even as the membership has been passed from one generation to the next. This community continues to function as a “small group of thoughtful, committed citizens” who share concerns and look out for each other in ways that drive positive change for each other, their colleagues (including those who are not parents) and the organization as a whole.
The members of this working parents community formed “inter-dependable” relationships in which they committed to “being there for themselves AND for each other” creating experiences that sounds similar to what Vivek H. Murthy describes in the quote above.
The core pillars of this community were individual AGENCY and social CONNECTION.
The parents initially came together by their own choice (AGENCY) in the interest of addressing their own personal challenges (PURPOSE).
As they CONNECTED with each other, they realized they were not alone or deficient. Other community members were experiencing similar challenges. This alone relieved some of their stress. Moreover, it increased their hope that they had the potential to help each other improve the situation (GROWTH).
As they shared the details of their challenges, they noticed and created new idea on how each member could balance and integrate their roles as professionals and parents.
In the process, they noticed that their inter-dependence entailed the ability to CONTRIBUTE to each other’s well-being (inter-dependability). They were able to get attention and sponsorship from management to make workplace changes benefitting non-parents as well.
The impact resulting from their actions confirmed that their efforts had been MEANINGFUL.
Agency
Purpose Growth
Connection Contribution Meaning
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Margaret Mead famously said, “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.”
It’s easy to become cynical about these kinds of pronouncements, but the experience of this working parents community shows that when they form inter-dependable bonds it is possible for “a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens” to “change the world” in ways that are meaningful for themselves and their greater community.
Here’s a link Murthy’s NYT opinion piece:
© Dana Cogan, 2024, all rights reserved.